Regardless of your beliefs and traditions, this time of year is stressful, in fact “it’s the most stressful time of the year”. With year-end responsibilities at work, winter-break from school for the kids, family responsibilities, travel plans, holiday celebrations, and gifting craziness, stress and anxiety peaks quickly and stays put well into the new year.
So how do we survive all the stress and responsibilities, and still have some energy to enjoy the fun? Here are a few tips to try, see what works for you.
- Get Organized.
Santa makes a list and so should you. Instead of keeping sticky notes everywhere, or trying to keep track of your to-do’s in your head, take a minute to get organized. Make one list and keep it somewhere convienent for you to update and manage. Whether it’s a note on your phone or tablet, or a good-old-fashioned paper and pencil list, do what works for you and keep it up-to-date. Plus, it’s rewarding to check-off those “done” items as you work through the list.
- Set Reasonable Goals & Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help.
Santa spends the entire year preparing for the holiday season, and he has elves to help him. Don’t expect that you’ll get it all done in one weekend. Now that you have your list made though, it will be easier to get through those to-do’s. Divide up that list into small reasonable segments, and don’t forget it’s ok to ask the elves in your life for a little help.
- Know Your Limits.
You are not a superhero, as much as you may want to be (we all secretly want to wear a cape on a daily basis, right?), so don’t try to act like one. It really is ok to turn down an invitation to a party, or to miss the road trip to visit your Great Aunt, if it means pushing yourself to the breaking point. Know your own limits and defend them with all of your wanna-be-superhero strength.
- Use Logic.
Has your anxiety convinced you that the holiday season will be ruined if you don’t do get to the end of your to-do list? Or are you feeling like the ONLY person who gets sad and lonely this time of year? Battle your anxiety with logic. Will the holiday REALLY be RUINED if you don’t get to the end of your list, or will it more likely be just fine? This time of year can be especially emotional and distressing for a lot of people. It is ok to not feel cheerful, you are not alone, and it doesn’t make you the Grinch. It makes you human.
- If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say, Don’t Say It to Yourself.
Negative self-talk can push anxiety through the roof. You know that voice in your head that says, “everyone else is having fun, why are you so sad”, “all the other moms make the holiday perfect, why can’t you”, “you have to finish this before you go to bed, or you’ve failed AGAIN”, that’s negative self-talk. Shut it down as soon as you recognize yourself doing it, and replace those judgemental phrases with ones like, “it’s ok to be sad, everyone feels sad sometimes”, “everyone has struggles, no one is perfect, even if they seem so on Facebook”, or “it’s ok to sleep when you need it, you are human and you NEED to sleep”.
- Practice Self-Care.
So often during the holidays we lose track of the things we do to take care of ourselves, because we’re trying to take care of everyone and everything else. But like they say on the flight announcements, “put your oxygen mask on first, before helping others”. You need to take care of yourself, so you can take care of others. First and foremost, practice good sleeping and eating habits, that way you will be able to function at your best. Plus, with all of the holiday deals right now, this is a great time to buy a package to the new yoga studio you’ve been wanting to check out. Or grab a massage gift certificate for a friend and one for yourself. Use that coupon to buy the book you’ve been wanting to read. Once you’ve taken the first step to purchase the service or item, you’re much more likely to go through with it. Take care of yourself, you deserve it.
- Make Your Own Holiday.
Years ago my husband and I made our own holiday, Pajamakah, and we celebrate it the first Saturday of December. It’s a day where we turn off our phones, watch movies in our jammies, and cook a nice dinner to celebrate simply being together. Now this is what is meaningful to us, how we enjoy spending time together, it may not make sense to you but find what does. What makes you feel calm, relaxed, and content? Schedule a time to do that, and make it happen!
- 3 Good Things.
Research shows that the “3 Good Things” rule works in the fight against depression and anxiety. Every night before you go to sleep, list three good things that happened in the day. Everything from getting out of bed on time to finishing that year-end report at the office counts, the only rule, no repeats. Once you’ve used it, it’s off the list next time. Some days this list will come easy, others not so much. Challenge yourself to do this every day for one week, it’s a great habit to start for the new year.
- Last but definitely not least....BREATHE!
Deep breathing REALLY DOES WORK for anxiety. Count to 5 slowly as you breathe in, count to 5 again slowly as you breathe out, do this AT LEAST 6 times, and you will feel a difference.
In the end no matter how many tips and tricks I list, it will still be the most stressful time of the year, and not always the most wonderful. For many people, this is the worst time of the year. And that’s ok. I think the important thing to remember is, we all have SOMETHING to celebrate as the year comes to end. It may be that you survived the worst year of your life, or you’ve enjoyed the best year yet. Just be sure to take the time to figure out what it is you are celebrating and be sure to do just that....celebrate.
Next week, “Loving Kindness, Even When It’s Hard”.
Have a topic you want to know more about? Let me know, I appreciate the suggestions.
By Katherine Biggs, MSCP