Last week I wrote about what anxiety is in a general sense, this week I want to talk about what it does to us as individuals. We know that the root of anxiety is part nature, part nurture. Additionally, our lifestyle decisions can either enhance or diminish our our anxiety. There is a basic genetic component to anxiety, some of us are just born more anxious than others. It’s in our genes.

Then there is the nurture part, or the learned behavior. Anxious moms raise anxious kids, in part, because the children learn the anxious behaviors from their parents. If both of your parents are anxious people, then you definitely need to keep reading because the next part is where your choices come into play.

The third component to anxiety involves our lifestyle choices. Some of us choose jobs or relationships, or both, that support our anxiety. We may seek out situations where hypervigilance to detail is needed, and even rewarded. In some cases, the need to make all the plans and decisions, to ensure they are complete and accurate, is appreciated. But do these circumstances use our anxiety, or anxious behaviors, in a productive way, or do they mask a problem that is causing undue stress? Only you can be the judge.

What aspects of our daily life either enhance or diminish our anxiety?

If you call/text your spouse and they don’t return your message right away, what do you do/feel? Are you ok with that feeling/action? Does it cause issues in your relationship?
If you’re getting ready to leave the house with your kids, and you’re not running late (does that really ever happen?), how long are you able to let your little one struggle with their zipper/shoes/socks before you jump in and do it for them? Does that help either of you? And does it really matter if you’re a few minutes late to the park?
At the office, do you come in early/stay late/skip lunch to check and double-check details? Is this rewarded, or expected? How does this behavior affect your life, if at all, and your health both mental and physical?

Let me be clear, I’m not suggesting that you quit your job, leave your spouse, or completely change your life to manage anxiety. I am however, suggesting that if you identify with some of these behaviors, and you’re not happy with how anxiety is affecting your life, you may want to be aware of the choices you make to enhance or diminish our anxiety.

There are several ways to fight anxiety including mindfulness, yoga, self-care, behavior interventions, nature, and CBT skills work, just to name a few. But the most important (and first step) is awareness. Are you self-aware? Can you acknowledge and identify anxious behaviors in your life and their effects, both positive and negative? Once you are able to come to terms with HOW anxiety plays a part in your life, you are more easily able to decide WHAT part you want it to play moving forward.

By Katherine Biggs, MSCP